Why?

Why

I seem to be a person who always to needs to know why. Whenever someone tells me to do something or to avoid doing something and the reason for doing/not doing is not apparent to me, I wonder why I should heed whatever they have said. I seem to be so independent and logic-minded that I cannot faithfully follow orders that seem strange to me if I am not told why. I must have been a real pain when I was very young, because I have always been this way.

When you are a young child, your parents always tell you why in one way or another. Your parents tell you things like this:
Don’t run with scissors. You might fall on them and stab yourself.

Don’t cross the street without looking right and left. You might get run over by a car. (Some people have made it to adulthood somehow, though they never learned this.)

Don’t play with the stove. It is very hot and you might burn yourself even worse than you did last week with the hot oatmeal.

Don’t talk to strangers. They might grab you and take you away to do bad, bad things to you.

Don’t call the police unless there is an emergency. If you call and it is not an emergency, they will take you away to a farm for bad children, where you will clean-up poop all day.

And my all-time favorite… Don’t do anything I tell you not to do because you might get a spanking.

There was always a reason attached to the advice, so that hopefully, you would understand the consequences of your actions.

The adult world is completely different. People tell you what to do without telling you anything at all about consequences. Many times, you don’t ask why because they never said anything bad would happen and you feel that the reason must be apparent to everyone else except you. You don’t want to appear stupid. Other times, you just hear blah, blah, blah and go about your business, never suspecting that the person who sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher was actually telling you something you need to know.

In the adult world, you get this:

If your vehicle is skidding, turn into the skid, even though instinct tells you to turn away. (I still don’t know why.)

Nothing by mouth after midnight before surgery. (Why? The expelling of emesis can be a big problem while having surgery.)

No food after surgery with general anesthesia, other than ice chips. (Why? Because you have no efficient way to digest and expel food until bowel sounds are present.) You may have to have a nasal gastric tube pushed through your nose, all the way down into your stomach in order to suck out any food. The abdominal pain can be quite painful, and the NG tube very uncomfortable.

And recently, with my 4-year-old car still under warrantee, change the oil and filter every 3000 – 5000 miles. (Why? I never knew until I finally took my car to an oil change facility.) I had my oil changed a few times at the dealer before, but I hated going there and just ignored the oil-change light. Much, much later, I went for an oil and filter change. After servicing my car, the manager was adding the new sticker on the windshield with the next service due date on it. He removed the old sticker, placed the new one and said, “Is this the last time you changed your oil?” “Yes,” I responded. He looked at me like I had done something terribly wrong. Then he said, “Driving your car this long without an oil change is like running your car in a race from here to California, back-and-forth, nonstop, four times. “Your record has been surpassed by only one person, and that was a Jaguar.” That prompted my sheepish, shameful, don’t yell at me face, and I promised to be diligent from then on.

I never before paid attention to oil-change recommendations, because I thought it was just something to make you go to the dealer and spend money more often. The manager explained that the reason for the oil change is that the oil filter loses the ability to filter out dirt after the specified number of miles. I never knew that. The next time I go, I will get a system flush to help minimize the damage. I learned all of these things through experience. I wish experts would explain consequences when they tell you to do, or not do things. Customers would pay more attention. Yes, this is my fault for ignoring good advice, but an explanation would certainly would have brought the point home clearly before I had to find out why for myself.